I constantly question God about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, I guess like most people. I'm a go-getter and to just do one thing at a time is unthinkable for me. Wait...maybe that's called ADD. Anyway, when I was pregnant with Griffin and had lost my job, I really made the decision that I didn't want to go back to that environment to work again. So, I really began to pray about God showing me what I was supposed to be doing. And I really thought God was saying, Just be a Mother right now. Well, of course, I tried to explain to God that I can do more than one thing at a time! But nothing else was revealed.
I spoke with a friend of mine that other day and told her what I was feeling, that God really wasn't revealing anything to me and I felt out of sorts. She explained to me about timing and that when God begins to lead a person on their path, so many many things start to come against them. She said, Do you really want to deal with those challenges AND a new baby? For the first time, I realized what was happening. God was telling me to be still and be patient. It wasn't time.
In the mornings, I usually sit in my chair and feed Griffin and just pray and stare at how beautiful he is. This morning, though, I tuned in to one of my favorite websites to listen to a sermon by my favorite pastor next to my own. His sermon was on Elijah and it rocked me so hard that I had to blog about it. You can watch the sermon at http://www.lifechurch.tv/ or you can click on the picture above and get to it. If you have 20 mins., don't miss it, especially if you're feeling like me. Here's the points that stuck out to me:
Elijah, as everyone knows, was one of the greatest men of God in the bible. He "walked with God", he raised a boy from the dead. He was one of God's favorites. But what I didn't know was what happened BEFORE that. In I Kings 17:1-8, Craig Groeschel tells the story of Elijah and how God did a great work in his life to allow him to become the great man of God that we all know about. Before he "walked with God", God took him into a season of hiding and Elijah lived in the Kereith Ravine away from everyone and everything. He was completely cut off from civilization. God wanted to do a deep work in his heart. He wanted to do more IN him so he could do more THROUGH him. Elijah went through 3 distinct seasons:
1. A season of isolated pain
Elijah was all alone for months in this ravine. You can imagine he was lonely, he was cut off from his source of food, companionship, etc. God wanted to humble Elijah so that he was completely in tune and dependent on God. God wanted to humble him privately so he could use him publicly. This spoke to me because if you know me, you know that I have really been going through this period in my life over the last 2 years. I can honestly say I've lost almost everything. I lost ALL of my friends, I have been cutoff from certain members of my family who were my source for a long time, I lost my job and had no income while carrying a baby. I have been so lonely that I prayed to God to send me friends and mentors. Every single thing in my life has changed over the last 2 years. There is nothing that has stayed the same. There were days that I went through such dark depression that I stayed in bed all day. But God really wanted me to come to Him instead of going to my girlfriends, or my family for my problems.
Craig told a story of a bird who was flying south for the winter, but he left a little too late and as he began to fly, he realized that it was so so cold that his wings were freezing and he couldn't fly. The little bird thought, Oh no. This is it. I'm going to die. I'm going to freeze to death and die. It couldn't get any worse. As the little bird's wings began to harden and stiffen from the cold, he crash landed in a field of cattle. As he sat there thinking death was imminent, his little body convulsing against the cold, a cow took a dump right on him. The bird, who thought it couldn't get any worse, realized it was now worse. Now, he was going to die, frozen to death in a big pile of manure. But as he sat there, contemplating the ever after, he realized that he was growing warmer and warmer. The heat from the manure was actually thawing his wings out! He wasn't going to die after all!! He began squawking and squawking with joy! He was going to live after all!!! The more excited he became, the louder he chirped. A nearby cat heard him and upon investigation, realized the little birdie couldn't even fly away and he promptly scooped him up out of the manure and ate him. The moral of the story? Everyone who drops manure on you isn't necessarily your enemy. Everyone who digs you out isn't necessarily your friend. and when you're in manure, keep your big mouth shut!!! I thought this was a great story!!
2. Total Dependence
God wanted Elijah to become totally dependant on Him. God sent ravens to the only brook in the ravine to feed Elijah meat every day. God was showing Elijah that He is our sole provider when we have no ability to provide for ourselves. God wanted Elijah to trust him. But interestingly enough, God did not send the ravens with enough meat for the week. They only brought enough for the day. Every day Elijah had to trust God to provide for his needs FOR THAT DAY. There have been so many times that I have had to depend on God to provide money for my bills, food, and other things. It's hard to tell a 13 year old that he can't go to the movies with his friends because we might not have electricity tomorrow. I feel like I have really had to learn to come to God for my provision this year. And you know what? My bills have never been late and we have extra money to do stuff alot of the time. I mean, we're going to Starbucks, we're not going to Jamaica okay, but I'm learning to appreciate the littlest things. I just need to hear the God will provide and when Craig said we have to trust him DAILY, it really got through to me. I'm so good about saying those blanket prayers because I think God gets tired of hearing me whine about how I need this and how I need that. But God WANTS us to depend on him! He never ever tires of our prayers.
3. Unconditional Obedience
Wow!!! This is a big one for me! Elijah had to learn to do what God said without questioning. God told him to leave the ravine where he had spent months and go to a nearby city and stay there. Now, Elijah had this routine. Granted, it wasn't the best of circumstances, but he was used to it. He knew he could eat every day and no one was going to turn the electricity off. But God said leave and go elsewhere. You know Elijah got nervous. But, um, hey God, um, I'm cool here. Just let me stay here where I know the deal, okay? I don't want to go where I don't know anyone or how things are. How many times do we stay in a rut that we know its time has passed, but we stay there because it's familiar? It's not good anymore, but it's familiar and the evil that we know is better than the evil that we don't know, right? Wrong. God wanted Elijah to have the courage to leave his familiar surroundings to go and do what God told him to do. God caused the brook to dry up and Elijah had to make a decision. Ever felt like God caused your brook to dry up? Now you have to make a decision. Do what God says or die. I have definitely felt like I've been at this crossroads where God says, okay, no more playing around. You've made this same mistake a million times before, but you won't leave the ravine. So, now it's go time. Either leave like I told you or die.
It took me getting pregnant to realize God was saying, Leave the ravine. So, I did, head in my hands, ashamed, alone, but obedient. And God has begun to change me into a new person. Am I finished? Nope. Do I never feel loneliness? All the time. But I have realized that I am walking my path like I never have before. It's scary sometimes and I forget to trust God for my provision. Thank God for mornings like this morning where He helps me remember. And I think that God is doing a deep work in my heart these last couple of years so that He can use me to do a deep work for others.
So, why did I blog this? I know there are people out there that are feeling the same loneliness and soul hurting that I felt. I know that there are plenty of people, some of them my closest friends, that are trying to stay in the ravine and they're starving to death. I want those people to know that you can leave the ravine now. Don't give up. Don't be depressed. Be obedient. Be real. None of us is perfect and there is always hope.
Go check out the Life Church sermons. You will LOVE them!!! This one is called ELIJAH.
Love,
carrie
carrie
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